Im in Love with a Drug Addict What Can I Do?

I noticed he started to sleep more and also started missing out more on family time. His parents also noticed a change in him, and his dad even asked me if he was doing drugs to which I denied (this was prior to me seeing him with drugs at home). Even after I saw the drugs at home and I knew in my gut something was not right I didn’t tell his parents.

loving an addict

A substance user stopping drugs or alcohol has to get to the root cause of the behaviors that lead to the addiction. People in any relationship with an addict can start helping by understanding that they are sick. As you want the best for your loved one with an addiction, you should also want the best kind of treatment. The next step would be to ensure that the addict undergoes the recommended recovery program by being supportive and patient. With open lines of communication in place, the addict’s loved one or partner can seek help from addiction recovery experts to help stage an intervention.

How Addiction Affects the Ability to Love

I don’t consider it enabling to help the person into treatment—that’s not enabling. Enabling would be buying them a car when they complete treatment or, while they’re in a halfway house, paying all of their bills. Working the same 12 steps as a loved one in early recovery is also good because it gives you “something to talk about,” Jacob added. A shared language for recovery can help families better support their loved one. A relationship with a drug abuser or alcoholic can be hard to navigate.

Additionally, victims of drug abuse and substance use disorder may recover well with the help of sober living. It allows people to learn from their peers through various activities and learning from their own experiences with substance use disorder while in recovery. As the Medical Director, Mark works with the staff to coordinate the appropriate level of care for each individual client. What he has found to be most rewarding about working in the addictions treatment field is being able to help suffering addicts and alcoholics to realize their fullest potential. Loved ones just want to be there for their families and offer support.

Medical Director

I don’t know if I should just focus on my own little family or what I should do.. I love her but I can’t talk to her when she’s all messed up. Loved ones can learn how to be in a relationship with an addict by acknowledging the persons addiction, setting boundaries, empowering yourself, and building your network of support. A strong support network should always include a qualified medical professional who will assist the patient and family through the recovery process. Once you have identified and acknowledged their addiction, it is important to set clear and firm boundaries for yourself and for them.

  • Thus, they end up spending money to maintain an unhealthy relationship with addicts because they have no other friends.
  • The codependent person cares more about how their partner feels than how they handle themselves.
  • Although they want to help somehow, they might not know where they fit in or what they can do.

He’s justifying it because he has more pain and has had more trauma than anyone, he is functioning and doing what he should, because I abandoned him before when he needed me the most. We have no relationship really, he’s an an intimate relationship with his addiction. We moved so he could be closer to his sober support group but he won’t reach out. But I don’t want to live this way for the rest of my life. It’s like waiting for the floor to drop out from under you again. I don’t want to lose the wonderful person that we had for a bit, but I don’t want to put myself through these painful feelings just waiting for him to appear.

What Is the Role of Loved Ones in Addiction Treatment Programs?

For more than 30 years, she has been helping both addicts and their loved ones understand their dysfunctional behaviors and make healthier life choices. If you’re reading this thinking, “I love an addict, but I don’t know what to do…” it might be time to seek professional help. Letting a drug addict go can be quite challenging; working with a therapist can help you find the best way to help them.

loving an addict

While they want to help their loved one in their mind, they’re preventing them from getting better. Codependency and enabling becomes a vicious cycle that never ends. While it may seem inconsequential to do these things, they promote drug use. If you provide a safety net for the addict you love, they’re not going to stop using. But, if your loved one isn’t aggressive or abusive, it’s common for people to stay with them and try to help them.

I get a tiny bit stronger everyday and I take it as a win. I can survive living with my emotions and getting better. My advice to people still in that toxic environment, Run! I did everything I possibly could and now I’m looking in the mirror and I don’t know what I’m looking at. You will never be understood by an addict and they will be full of lies.

What to do if you are a love addict?

  1. Acknowledge the Addiction. The first step in breaking the pattern is to recognize it.
  2. Invest in Healthy Relationships.
  3. Learn About Love Addiction.
  4. Abstain from New Relationships for a Period.
  5. Develop Awareness of Your Triggers.
  6. Become Grounded in the Present.
  7. Get Professional Support.

Sandstone Care is here to support teens and young adults with mental health and substance use disorders. I like that you provided clear descriptions that set up examples of individual addictive cases, and showed practical solutions in how to address the various problems. I really liked the quotes at the beginning of each chapter, in fact, I looked forward to them because they were so insightful.

Being In Love With An Addict Feels Like a Competition

Having a partner with an active addiction problem may lead to domestic violence cases. Domestic violence takes several forms, including physical violence, guilt-tripping, and becoming overly controlling. Note that approximately 80% of crimes involving domestic violence are related to drug abuse because of how the substances alter a person’s brain chemicals. Thus, the addict could have impaired judgment causing them to behave that way to their partner.

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